Dating Outside Your Race

Interracial, Multi-Racial, Mixed Race, Cross-Cultural

They Might Be Thinking:

  • Will my friends and family be supportive?
  • Does he or she like me just because I am different?
  • What will I do if the relationship gets serious?
  • I am not sure if I like this person enough to deal with some of the challenges I may face.
  • What will his or her parents think about me?
  • Will people think or look at me differently?
  • Will people gossip about me?
  • Should we hold hands or show affection in public?
  • Should I post pictures of the two of us on social media?
  • What do I do if I start to fall in love with this person?

Words That Might Be Encouraging:

  • You should love who you love - John Mayer.
  • Race is not a good reason to date or not date someone. Dating should be based on who you love and who you respect.
  • We are all a member of the same race. The human race.
  • More than three million people in the U.S. are married to someone of a different race.  
  • Does he or she make you a better person? If yes, you should focus on that and not worry about what others think. 
  • If you love this person, race will be the least of your challenges.
  • People may look at you a little differently, but I say "good." Look at how great you are together!

Words That Might Be Discouraging:

  • Can't you find someone to date from your own race?
  • Are you trying to break your parents' hearts?
  • Good for you, but I could never do that to my parents.
  • Marriage and relationships are hard enough already under the best of circumstances. Why make it harder on yourselves?
  • What about your children? They would suffer not knowing which race they belong to.
  • How will you decide what to name the kids if you get married?
  • What church will you go to?
  • I think you are too pretty to settle for someone like (Him or Her).
  • I think you can do better.
  • I don't think they will ever really understand what our people go through.
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