Therese Basham is an independent Marketing and Communications Consultant based in St. Louis, Missouri. In addition to being a stay-at-home mom to her son and daughter for the past twenty years, she has remained engaged as a free-lance marketing communications writer, photographer, and videographer. She recently joined the Association of Professional Photo Organizers and is now helping individuals bring order to their digital and physical photo and video collections. Therese is a graduate of the University of Notre Dame, where she studied marketing and psychology.
They Might Be Thinking:
I can’t believe he/she wants a divorce.
I feel so alone.
I’m so confused. I don’t understand why he/she wants a divorce.
I wonder if he/she cheated on me.
I can’t believe he/she cheated on me.
I feel so guilty that I want a divorce.
I can’t believe he/she left me for somebody else. What’s wrong with me?
I don’t want to see anybody because I don’t want to talk about my divorce.
I feel like a failure because I’m getting a divorce.
Are we doing the right thing for our kids?
How do we tell our kids we are getting divorced?
I’m afraid to tell my family we are divorcing since they like him/her so much.
Will I still be able to have a relationship with my in-laws after the divorce?
How will we celebrate the holidays with the kids?
I’m worried I will lose our mutual friends.
I wonder what he/she is doing. I’m going to do some social media stalking.
I don’t feel like going to school/work or even getting out of bed.
I’ll never find somebody like that again.
I thought I knew what my future would be. I can’t believe I have to start over by myself.
I’ll never get re-married.
I’m just so sad. Will I ever be happy again?
I thought we were going to be together forever.
I’m worried about my finances and whether I will be able to make do.
I’m worried I won’t receive a favorable divorce settlement.
I’m worried about the custody arrangement.
I wonder if he/she is dating somebody.
Will we be able to still be friends? To successfully co-parent?
Words That Might Be Encouraging:
You are not alone.
How are you doing today?
It’s okay to be sad and you can cry on my shoulder if that’s what you need.
I care about you and want the best for you.
There’s nothing wrong with you and you deserve to be loved.
I’m here to listen if you want to talk about it, but it’s okay if you don’t.
Take it one day at a time, and I promise it will get better with time.
You will be happy again.
I haven’t heard from you for a few days and wanted to check in. Are you doing okay?
Would you like to come over, or would you like me to come over for a visit?
I’m here if you want to talk to somebody, but it’s always a good idea to seek professional advice from a counselor or therapist.
When you are ready to go out, let me know.
I’m sure you’ll do what’s best for you and your family. Let me know if there’s something I can do to help.
Let’s set up a regular time to get coffee/meet for lunch/have dinner.
If you need a “plus one” for an event, let me know and I’ll go with you.
Can I help you get organized with your house, your bills, your kids, etc.?
Can I take care of your kids for an afternoon/evening so you can have some time to yourself?
What night can I bring you dinner?
Make sure you are taking care of yourself. Can I treat you to a movie/spa treatment/museum visit?
Let’s go out and do something fun while your ex has the kids.
Words That Might Be Discouraging:
So what happened?
There are lots of fish in the sea.
I never liked him/her anyway. You could do much better.
I never knew what you saw in him/her.
He/she was cheating on you anyway.
Was somebody cheating?
That’s too bad. I really like him/her.
Let’s stalk him/her on social media to see what they are doing.
Isn’t there anything you could do so he/she will take you back?
Let’s go out and get drunk and forget about it.
You should have a meaningless fling.
Did you try marriage therapy?
I know somebody else who is divorced. Want me to set you up?
Do you think you’ll get back together?
Couldn’t you just stay together for the kids?
I know your ex will want to get back together with you.
It’s not possible to be friends with someone after you get a divorce.
You’ll find somebody better.
You just need to get out more.
I’m sure you guys will get back together.
I’m going to tell everybody what a jerk he/she was.
You’ve moped around long enough. It’s time to get over it.
Since you are the one who asked for the divorce, why are you still so upset about it?
What are you getting in the settlement?
Get a good lawyer and take him/her for everything you can get.
I can’t imagine being single again at our age.
I understand exactly what you’re going through.
We should hang out sometime.
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