Incarceration
Arrested, Trial, Jail, Prison, Felony, Incarcerated
He or She Might Be Thinking About...
- How will I survive if I get convicted?
- I wish I could turn back the hands of time to get a do-over.
- My life is over.
- I feel alone to deal with this situation on my own.
- I am embarrassed and ashamed to have a family member in prison.
- I don't want to talk to anyone about my loved one being incarcerated.
- I feel confused and frustrated. I am also angry about the entire situation.
- I can’t do this time.
- I should have avoided high-risk activities and associations.
Words or Actions That Might Be Encouraging
- Send money for stamps, envelopes or phone cards.
- Deposit money into the incarcerated individual's account. Make sure not to exceed maximum funds limit.
- Depositing money may be difficult to sort out, but don't give up. The money really helps for incidentals.
- Accept calls from the incarcerated. Inmates can pay for calls, Calls are not always billed to you.
- Make sure you focus on the inmate and not about you during your phone conversations.
- Make sure the inmate knows that they still have a role in your life as a trusted friend or advisor.
- Write letters. Calls can be expensive. Also, letters can be read later.
- Before you write letters, make sure you visit the website of the facility where your family member, friend, mentor, or community member is housed. Every facility has different rules.
- Catch them up on your life, ask questions, and share the local and national news.
- Visit in person. Offer to go with your friend to visit the incarcerated individual. A little company goes a long way.
- Make a point to visit an inmate continually, instead of just one time.
- Remind the person that they are powerful and resilient. The system does little to empower.
- Make a point to tell them about your life. Treat them as you would any other human being.
Words That Might Be Discouraging
- Did you do it? Are you guilty?
- Don't obsess about how sorry you are that they are on the inside, or only talk about the case.
- You just need to settle in and do your time.
- I don't really know what to say. I have never been in this situation.
- Why did you do it?
- What do you do for fun in here?
- How is the food in here?
- Why are you not writing your mother more often?
- What should I tell your friends?
- I saw your wife\girlfriend out at the club.
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