Loss of a Child

Helplessness, Guilt, Blame, Faith Challenge, Determination, Grief, Death, Child, Loss of Child

They Might Be Thinking:

  • How do I go on after losing my child?
  • Parents should not outlive their children.
  • I feel anxious.
  • I am not sure how to talk about this with my wife or husband.
  • Was I a good parent to my child?
  • How will this impact my relationship with my spouse?
  • I feel really angry.
  • No one really understands what I am going through.
  • Should we try to have another child?
  • Holidays and birthdays will really hard for survivors.
  • I feel numb, shocked and fearful.
  • I cry all the time now, especially when I'm thinking about my child or when I'm looking at pictures.
  • I have trouble sleeping.
  • I don't feel like eating or getting out of the house. 
  • I can't concentrate at work. 
  • The simplest decisions are hard for me these days.
  • I feel like I am living in a bad dream.

Words That Might Be Encouraging:

  • I can't imagine what this must be like for you.
  • Can you tell me about you child?
  • I really, really miss him (her) so much.
  • Here’s what I loved about your child.
  • Here’s something special he or she did that I’ll always remember.
  • I’m so sorry for your loss.
  • Let's confirm our contact information.
  • There is no right or wrong way to feel.  
  • Everyone finds their own way through...take your time.
  • I am here for you, whenever, and for whatever you need.
  • I got your back. We will get through this together.
  • I can help you find a grief sharing group if and when you are ready.
  • You don't need to have a timeline on your grief.
  • You have a lot of people supporting you. Let me know if I can help coordinate some of the communication for you.

Words That Might Be Discouraging:

  • I know how you are feeling.
  • You need to set a timeline for how long you are going to grieve this loss.
  • You did everything you could to make your child happy. You should have no regrets.
  • There is nothing worse for a parent - Losing a child.
  • Do you think the Doctor's did everything possible?
  • Do you have any regrets?
  • You are strong, you can get through anything.
  • Do you think you will try to have kids again?
  • I am so glad you have your other kids around you to support you.
  • Please don’t cry. It’s all going to be okay.
  • Have you thought about benefits and insurance policies? Perhaps you should focus on that since it's something you can control. 
  • I feel your pain.
  • How about a hug?
  • Say nothing. 
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