Jessica Tanner is a marketing professional from Katy, Texas with a specialty in personal branding and customer centricity. Jessica graduated cum laude as a student-athlete with her Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration and a Minor in Communications from the University of Tulsa in 2012. Her research interests concentrate on athletics, developing youth, and family values. In addition to her curation contributions with EncourageX, Jessica spends her time mentoring and coaching fastpitch softball players and volunteering.
They Might Be Thinking:
I love my baby... why am I having these thoughts?
Am I a bad mother?
I think my baby would be better off with another mother.
I made a huge mistake.
I don't think I'm cut out to be a mother.
I keep having terrible, scary thoughts about something happening to my baby.
I don't want to feel and think this way.
Why is this happening to me?
I feel like my mind has been hijacked.
I'm scared to hold my baby for fear that I will hurt him/her.
How do I stop thinking and feeling this way?
I've heard postpartum depression is normal, but I do not feel normal.
Words and Actions That Might Be Encouraging:
Any time you'd like to talk, I'd love to listen.
Take all the space and time that you need.
Share your own experience with PPD if you have one.
I'm here for you. Anytime, day or night.
Give her a long hug.
Ask her how she is doing and let her speak for as long as she'd like.
Let her vent.
What she says she needs is more important than ever. Make it happen.
Don't compare her motherhood experience to anyone else's, including yours.
Do the "dirty chores," like helping to wash the dishes or doing the laundry.
Listen. That's the biggest thing.
Notice the little steps and daily improvements and point them out to her.
Don't give her the pity look.
Don’t judge. She is judging herself hard enough. She does not need you to understand exactly what she's going through, but please do not make it worse by demeaning her.
Let her rest.
Help her without being asked.
I know how hard you are trying. You're doing a great job.
You're not alone.
Words That Might Be Discouraging:
You're just tired.
It's probably just your hormones.
It will go away; just give it some time.
I'm pretty sure this happens to everyone.
You'd feel better if you...
When I had a baby, I didn't have time to be depressed.
You've always wanted a baby; you should be happy!
Maybe you weren't ready to be a mother after all.
You don't need any medication.
Are you sure you're not just stressed?
See Personalized Encouragement Recommendations for Someone You Care About