Therese Basham is an independent Marketing and Communications Consultant based in St. Louis, Missouri. In addition to being a stay-at-home mom to her son and daughter for the past twenty years, she has remained engaged as a free-lance marketing communications writer, photographer, and videographer. She recently joined the Association of Professional Photo Organizers and is now helping individuals bring order to their digital and physical photo and video collections with her photo organizing business, It's a Snap! Therese is a graduate of the University of Notre Dame, where she studied marketing and psychology.
They Might Be Thinking:
How much trouble am I in?
Will I have to spend time in jail?
Will this go on my permanent record?
How much money will this cost me?
I don't know how to tell my friends and family about this.
I hope my friends and family are supportive.
I'm embarrassed by the situation.
I hope the people at my job don't find out about this.
I hope this doesn't impact my finances in terms of getting a loan.
I hope this doesn't impact my family situation (i.e., child custody).
Will this be held against me when I apply for a job, the military, or for housing?
Do I need to get a lawyer?
Words That Might Be Encouraging:
Don't speak to anybody without an attorney present. (If the person is still being detained.)
You don't have to tell me what happened, but it's a good idea to write down your memory of the event while it is still fresh in your mind. (It's especially important not to ask what happened if they are still in custody, because these conversations are often recorded.)
Can I go by your home to take care of anything for you? (If the person is still being detained.)
It's a good idea to speak to an attorney before posting bail. (If the person is still being detained.)
Can I help you find an attorney?
Is there anybody you'd like me to call on your behalf to let them know what happened?
No matter what happens, I'll be here to support you.
What can I do to help you?
If you need somebody to attend court proceedings or attorney meetings with you, let me know and I'd be happy to do that.
Everybody makes mistakes. It's important to face up to them and not make the same mistakes in the future or let them define you.
Words That Might Be Discouraging:
So, what happened? Tell me everything!
You should post bail right away!
Are you going to have to go to jail?
This is going to cost you a fortune!
I'm glad I'm not in your shoes.
This will probably follow you around for the rest of your life.
A minor law violation is no big deal. It happens to everyone.
That's so minor that you probably don't even need an attorney.
I can't believe you did that! It was so irresponsible!
See Personalized Encouragement Recommendations for Someone You Care About